Thursday, November 12, 2009

Guilty as Charged

Thanks everyone for your fantastic recommendations for Arizona. I officially booked our plane tickets last night. We ended up having to go Sunday to Sunday instead of Saturday to Friday because I waited too long (8 or 9 hours) and the Saturday prices went up a lot. I figured if I am going to be paying extra for a plane, I might as well get the cheaper plane and stay in a hotel one night longer (which actually will probably turn out to be cheaper than that extra airfare x 2 people). I hate how you can't count on plane fares to stay the same for even a whole day. I need time to think about my decisions! Anyway, except for the fact that we'll be dead tired on Monday for work, it's probably a good thing because now we get an extra day that we can play with in our itinerary. I decided I am going to figure that out a little later since I am a little torn about the fact that there is not a ton to do in Phoenix, BUT then again it's February so it will be cold in the Grand Canyon and lets all be honest, what will Kelly want to avoid in February coming from Boston? COLD. So I have to work that all out a bit :) My trip planning has brought me to the point of this blog post...

The word guilty. When I was little, I thought "guilty" meant that someone was accused of breaking the law and they were "guilty"- meaning they did it. Obviously, this is one definition but since I tend to be a law-abiding citizen, it's not one that comes up frequently in my life (well except during Law and Order). I later learned, that you can also "feel guilty" for doing something you maybe should not have done. I learned that I can feel guilty for so many reasons:
  • For eating a big piece of chocolate Cheesecake
  • For getting busy and not calling a friend back
  • For forgetting an appointment or something I was supposed to do
  • For eating half the container of Pringles
  • For not going to the gym
  • For spending too much money on a bag or clothes
  • For not getting work done when I should be productive
  • For eating ice cream instead of lunch
  • For letting my kids have "choice time" instead of teaching a math lesson
The list could pretty much go on forever. I can only imagine that when I have kids the list of things I can feel guilty about will increase exponentially until I basically don't go a minute of the day without feeling guilty about SOMETHING.

I think this is a terrible way to live. Who says I can't have the chocolate cheesecake or half the container of Pringles? (Well actually, currently my stomach says I can not, but that's not the point). Who says I have to get work done on a Sunday? Who says I can't have ice cream for lunch every once in awhile? Who says my kids don't NEED free play time more than that math lesson? The fact is, rarely does anyone else mind, it's just pressure we put on ourselves to do everything perfectly all of the time. It's not possible, AND even if it was I don't want to do it because it would be such a boring life.

The last time I was on a plane I declared that I was going to stop spending so much money on travel. I figured I could take on less extra tutoring jobs if I just didn't go away so much, and I'd be less stressed on a day to day basis. Well it turns out, I didn't really take on any less jobs at all (maybe more in fact) and I'm not any richer. So enter: My Trip to Arizona!

When I asked Eric if he wanted to go, he looked at me skeptically and said, "That would be really fun, but are you going to start freaking out about money in a couple of weeks and start yelling that you shouldn't have booked the trip?" I have to admit, old Kelly may have done that. But new, feeling less guilty Kelly, is not going to do that. Eric and I like to go on trips. Sure, we have our honeymoon a few months later, but this is what we like to do. Some people buy $500 designer purses, we go on trips. So I am not going to feel guilty. Not even for a second. Not even for a millisecond. Of course I'll try to save as much as I can, I'm not going to say "I don't feel guilty so let's say at a 500 dollar a night hotel." But whatever places I decide to book, I won't feel guilty. Really.

And while I'm at it, I may have ice cream for lunch sometime soon. Because part of what it means to be a healthy individual is to let go of stress. And you know what causes stress in my life? guilt.

What things make you feel guilty? I challenge you today to pick one thing that makes you feel guilty and let it go. Part of what makes life fun is being a little bit of a rebel sometimes!


  1. I'm so glad you booked your trip to Arizona without the feeling of guilt. I get the same way too about money, not calling friends, etc. My list could go on and on too. You're right though that this is no way to live. Thanks for this post!

  2. I don't know why I thought you were going to Arizona soon, oops! Ok, so February. Now I know!

    The same list of "guilty" things you have written are what make me feel guilty too. When I eat something that I "shouldn't have" I usually feel guilty because of the way it makes me feel, physically. LAst night I ate too many calories right before bed time, and I feel guilty this morning because my stomach hurts. I don't really care about the calories so much, just that I knew my stomach wouldn't like it as I slept. Hopefully I learned from this experience!

  3. Congrats on booking the tickets! That's so exciting!!!

  4. Good post. This is so true... I often let "guilt" over the silliest things get to me way too much. I have definitely felt guilty over all of those items on your list and more.

  5. I LOVE traveling and I'm TOTALLY with you on not feeling guilty about it!

    I don't buy designer purses or even shoes (except for the one). I don't go out partying - ever. I don't go out drinking. I don't even really go to concerts.

    But I travel whenever I can with the Fiance. Sure we will have to curtail it as the wedding approaches but we'll still squeeze it in here or there. It keeps me happy.

    And that way I don't notice the fact that my feet are itchy all the time! lol :oP

  6. ohh I think so many of us often feel guilty at times for silly things such as eating a piece of chocolate or something small like this!

    your trip is going to be so fun!!

  7. Yep, I totally struggle with guilt. I feel guilty if I skip a workout to go to happy hour. I feel guilty about the fact that I barely call my mom anymore (mostly because by the time i get home from work/the gym, I have no desire to talk to anyone). I also feel guilty that I can't spend as much time w/ friends as some of them think I should.

    I'm trying not to feel guilty as much as I do. Luckily my parents are really understanding of my schedule, as are most of my friends, but i got a slight nasty gram from a sort-of-friend about how i need to reach out to people more often and it kind of pissed me off because I had just told her that I went over a week w/out calling my mom. So if I don't have time to talk to my parents, obviously I don't have time to talk to friends...

    Anyways, enough ranting. Good topic, though!

  8. Don't freak out! I think travel is always worth the money - you have an experience and memory for life. When you buy things the satisfaction fades. I am excited for you to go to AZ so I can read the recaps too ;)