Breathing in a Difficult Moment

I have to start by saying I DID go to spin last night by myself and my instructor kicked my butt- I went 5 miles further than last week in the same class with the same instructor, whew! I felt awesome after though so thank you for the encouragement to go. I forgot about the extra motivation that I got to add miles to my Bike Challenge. I am already past 50 miles, yay! And yes, I did enjoy that peppermint ice cream.

Today I would like to discuss an important topic in the grand scheme of healthy living: stress. Stress is something we all have, and something that, if we do not learn to deal with, can cause a wide variety of health problems including digestive problems, heart disease, depression and obesity!

My history of stress goes back only a few years. I was a pretty laid back kid/teenager. Yes, my mom occasionally referred to me as "Nervous Nellie" because of my tendency to worry about silly things, but in general I was not a stressed out person. I went with the flow, and fortunately the flow seemed to move in the right direction the majority of the time. It was only in college at some point that things began to matter more to me. Suddenly it was not just about whether I got an A on a science test, but it was about if I was able to have a career in teaching. I think student teaching was the first time I got really "stressed" in the way that causes health problems. All of a sudden I was responsible for 20 first graders and I had no idea what to do. This only got worse when I had my own classroom the next year. I had a class of 20 kindergartners, none of them particularly well behaved (well, maybe like 3 of them?), 40 parents- all of whom wanted to know if this 22 year old girl had ANY clue what she was doing (probably not!) and a principal who had a reputation for firing at least one person every year.

Now I knew what stress really was. How did I deal with it? Pretended (as much as possible) that it did not exist. Sure, there were a few minor meltdowns that went something like this "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TEACH THESE KIDS TO READ WHEN I HAVE KIDS FLOODING MY CLASSROOM WITH THE SINK?" But for the most part I remained the calm, collected, flexible, go-with-the-flow girl I had always been. So where did the stress go? Right to my tummy. Suddenly, I began having days on the weekend where I could barely get out of bed because I felt so sick. When I went to the doctor they diagnosed me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which I quickly found out has a strong connection with stress, go figure.

I first learned how to control my IBS through diet, but I learned quickly that in highly stressful times that alone would not fix it. In the next year and a half I tried a lot of different stress relieving methods including hypnosis and acupuncture (neither of which worked for me, but that's just me). One day I stepped into a new yoga studio and tried that as a method of stress relief. I was never a big yoga person but this studio made me feel like I was getting a real work out as I did yoga, so that kept me coming back.

The other thing that kept me coming back was the fact that during particularly difficult poses, all the teachers would discuss the idea of "breathing during a difficult moment." Clearly, this is exactlywhat I need to do during the rest of my life. In yoga (at least at my studio- not trying to be an expert here), breathing is used as a way to focus and be able to manage a difficult pose. In life, we naturally stop breathing when things get difficult and this is what we need to train ourselves to stop doing. If anything, we need to concentrate more on our breathing than ever when things are difficult.

I got pretty good at this during yoga (especially with the constant reminders from the teacher), but in life it is a lot more difficult. When I am about to be observed by my principal or in a difficult meeting with a parent, my mind is focused on my lesson, a child, and just about everything else except for breathing. But here is the thing I've learned...

It does not help me in a difficult moment to think about everything I know about a lesson, or a kid, or that teaching reading class I took 5 years ago. That only serves to add stress and jumble up my thoughts until they are unrecognizable. What I really need to do is trust myself. Trust myself that I already know all the kids in my class because I work with them and think about them for a million hours a day. Trust myself that I know how to teach a lesson because I have already gone through it in my head (and sometimes even taught it before). Trust myself that I know what to say in my Curriculum Night presentation because I know kindergarten, and I know what parents need to know. Trust myself that if I am in a situation with not a single person that I know, I will find someone to talk to or something to do, I will not just stand there looking silly. Trust myself.

Once I do that, I do not have to focus on 1 million things anymore. I can just focus on my breath. Inhale...exhale...inhale...exhale. When I focus on my breathing, I can officially calm down. Then, and only then, does my stomach and heart stop having to pay for my minds insecurities. Because really...when I am 80 will I really care if one parent did not particularly like me? or if I sat by myself at a bridal shower? No. Will I even care about that next year? Or tomorrow? No.

Last night at spinning there were some "difficult moments" at Level 18. I found myself naturally focusing on my breathing. I hope that carrying this yoga principle over into other areas of exercise naturally means I am one step closer to doing it at ridiculous meetings about YET another thing they are adding to my already overfilled plate. I can hope right?

Do you breathe in difficult moments? Try it and let me know how it goes...