Friday, September 25, 2009

Wedding Pet Peeves

This week in kindergarten we learned what the word “opinion” means. Since I began planning a wedding I’ve noticed a lot of people have very strong OPINIONS about weddings. There is a lot of traditional etiquette that some people love to follow, and others love to hate.

We all have those things about weddings that drive us crazy. Mine are:

1. I hate when people do not put both names on the invitation. Obviously there are times when “and guest” should be used, like when you literally have no idea who the person will bring. However, if someone has been dating someone a while, ask what their name is! And in the days of facebook, friend them and you will have their name forever! If you have met them before, know their name and still choose not to put it...well that is just ridiculous. I promise if by some stroke of luck they break up with your friend before the wedding, they are not going to show up!

2. This is going to be controversial but here I go: I don’t like when people are against honeymoon registries. I have put a HUGE amount of effort into understanding this point of view and I do get it better now, but I still disagree. I’d rather pay to help someone go on a cool trip than to upgrade their already perfectly good kitchen appliances. In the end, I want to give the couple what they most want, not what “tradition” says they should want.

3. I personally think it’s really rude when people attend only the reception of a wedding. SO rude. Obviously there are certain circumstances (particularly Friday night weddings) where there is no other option. But people who are like, “oh sorry there is a gap in between and I don’t want to wait, so I just won’t attend the ceremony” are obnoxious. Yes, we all enjoy the reception better. But you should not get to participate in the party if you don’t watch the true “marriage” of the couple. I say this as someone who is going to have a 10-15 minute ceremony, the reception is definitely the priority to me. This is not true for everyone and as a guest I don’t think I get to decide. I attend every aspect of the wedding that I can, even if I have to wait in between.

4. It annoys me when people say it’s rude for the mom and sister to throw the bride a shower. That’s who really wants the shower so they can pay for it! Who cares who is asking for gifts? I still have to buy one either way…haha.

Those are my wedding pet peeves, what are yours?


  1. I totally hear you on the wedding pet peeves. My biggest pet peeve was the utter lack of common sense and manners. It drove me nuts when people started freaking out about us having childcare for the wedding (which actually ended up being so great the kids didn't want to leave). It is OUR wedding and it is not up to YOU to tell us how to do it!

    I loved my wedding but planning it? Totally nightmare-ish. Hang in there .. You have a great fiance and it will all fall into place.

  2. I COMPLETELY agree on #2. If/when Eric and I get married we will have been living together for a LONNGG time and will NOT need anything for our home, so why not ask for money to go towards our honeymoon? If someone is going to spend $30 on someone what's the difference whether they put it towards the honeymoon or whether they buy the couple ANOTHER set of dish cloths. When I get married I TOTALLY plan on doing something like that!

    PS: Is that what you and Eric are doing rather than a regular registry??

  3. I agree with you on all points. Funny coming from a guy, huh?! I LOVE #2...when my wife and I were married 28 years ago, we received too much unnecessary stuff, including some items that were definitely re gifts. I never heard of honeymoon registries, but now that I have I think they're a great idea. Also, VERY rude to blow off the ceremony and just go to the reception. Unfortunately too many people do that. If it happens to you, I hope they at least make up for it by contributing LOTS of money to your honeymoon registry! :-)

  4. I was just having a conversation about honeymoon registries. Believe it or not I have not heard of them before, well until about a month ago. At first I thought they sounded stupid, but then I started really thinking about it and it's a GREAT idea! I agree with you, 100%. I also think sometimes people should keep their OPINIONS about other people's weddings to themselves!! I bet you are so sick of it by now.

  5. My main opinions on this subject are 1) it's your wedding, do it how you want and 2) twenty years from now, you most remember most of the details, so don't sweat the small stuff.

  6. I think honeymoon registries are genius! I mean you can only have so many sets of knives before you go crazy. You'll only have one true honeymoon and it should be the best you can get!

    I also agree with the childcare at the reception. My aunt and uncle are going to a wedding tonight and I'll be the childcare for their kid! LOL!

  7. Oooo I could write a novel on this subject!

    I live pretty well away from all my friends and family so I don't get much gripe for much of what I do. But here's what I dislike THE MOST are conversations that go like this:

    Mean Lady: So I hear you're getting married
    Me: *grinning* Yeah! Next November in Cabo!

    Mean Lady: You should just elope! We did!
    Me: *trying to laugh it off* My parents would kill me!
    Mean Lady: Who cares? That's their problem!!!!
    Me: Well I want a proper traditional wedding too!

    Mean Lady: So why wait so long?
    Me: *annoyed by this point but still polite* To give people time to plan their vacations. Also, the best vendors are booked up a year in advance.

    Mean Lady: You don't need all that!
    Me: Yes, but I want all that.

    Mean Lady: You know the success of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money you spend . . . we got married at City Hall and have been married 30 years.
    Me: *turn around and ignore her*

    True story! :o( AND I've had about three other people have nearly the same exact convos with me. So. Not. Impressed.

  8. For me personally I hate the formality of using middle names. I don't like my middle name and so I didn't use it on the invitations or program. I just think it's silly.

  9. personally I think honeymoon registries are the way to go! honestly, who needs 5 toasters, 3 crock pots, and expensive china that you'll never use?

  10. When I first got engaged my sister said to me "weddings bring out the worst in people and funerals the best" and OMG was it true.

    As for #1 my HUSBAND and I were recently invited to the wedding of one of our GROOMSMEN and it was to Jim and guest. Are you effing kidding me?

    My pet peeve is people who feel the need to offer unsolicited advice. "Why would you pick purple?" "Who gets married in March?" etc... Really? If you want to plan a wedding find someone who likes you enough to spend eternity with you or if you are already married shut up it's my turn I didn't tell you how to run your wedding don't tell me how to run mine!

    PS _ I *LOVE* honeymoon registries - I am glad to be giving to something that will last forever (memories) vs something that could be gone in a flash (like china - spoken as someone who has lived through a complete house fire)

  11. i like your view on honeymoon registries. i thought it was kind of weird, but your POV makes sense to me.

    ummm (#4) i don't get what difference makes in who throws the shower? people have really made a stink about that? laaaame.

  12. not so much a pet peeve but a bad memory from my own wedding....
    my maid of honor's serious boyfriend didn't make it to the reception bc of "work" (even though he took time off all the time and it was REALLY important to her that he be there)
    And then he got to the reception where there was an open bar and got wasted. i really didn't want to pay for any of his $15 drinks. esp since i didn't like him in the first place!

  13. hahah i was married two years ago and remember all this crazy business. seems like when you get hitched EVERYONE has an opinion on what you should or shouldnt be doing. drove me a little mad :) thanks for the drop by on my blog; been lovely catching up with yours!