Well, after my relatively calm, though slightly overwhelmed, post this morning...
Total and complete wedding meltdown. Massive fight.
It was like this...
Except if the girl had brown curly hair, and was dragging her mom in the other hand. Sorry mom.
You may remember (did I mention this on the blog?) that Eric banned me from all wedding talk after 8pm because he says I am too tired after 8 to make good choices and not blow up at people. This worked well, but he forgot that Sunday Kelly is a lot like 8 pm Kelly. Not necessarily tired, but stressed about the week ahead (especially when I am at the Cape and have to think about packing, driving home, and deal with life at home). So from now on I am banned from talking about the wedding after 8pm and on Sundays. At this rate by July 10th Eric will ban me from wedding talk EVERY day!
Seriously though. This is how the wedding meltdown goes...
First: Kelly gets annoyed by some random little thing that tends to happen when several people are offering their opinion on a very important day...or multiple days as weddings seem to be.
Then: While Kelly would normally quickly forget temporary annoyance- after 8pm or Sunday Kelly starts to get VERY angry and lashes out at the person who happens to be fortunate enough to annoy her at that moment.
Then: That person defends his or herself, only further making 8pm/Sunday Kelly very angry.
Then: Kelly says a bunch of things she does not mean, further proving Eric's philosophy about avoiding speaking when angry if at all possible.
Then: Kelly gets upset that she is fighting with very important people to her about something so stupid as a wedding.
Then: Kelly cries and says she hates weddings.
The end.
After recovering from Wedding Meltdown Number God-Only-Knows-How-Many I decided it is time to put a final end to all future wedding meltdowns. I really want to be speaking to all my friends and family come the wedding day and aside from the wedding, I very rarely (if at all) fight with anyone!
Eric and I spent the car ride home developing some new "rules" that will hopefully help wedding planning become...fun? Well...at least tolerable!
1. No talking about weddings after 8pm, or any time that I feel especially stressed about something un-wedding related.
2. When I start to get overwhelmed with wedding details and feel myself getting annoyed easily, simply tell others that I want to talk about a different topic and that we will revisit whatever topic we are discussing at ____ (and name a specific day/time).
*Insert Eric's Note: Just say..."Let's talk about it later, how does the day after the wedding sound?"
3. Get approval from someone any time I want to get angry with someone else. For example, if my parents are bothering me I will have to check with Eric to see if it is okay to get mad at them. He will of course say no, and I will have time to calm down and decide if there is any point at all in getting mad (there never will be). If I want to get mad at Eric, I will have to get approval from Caroline (Maid of Honor) and Katie (Matron of Honor) before I am allowed to voice anger. They will not approve me unless they truly think it will be helpful, and by the time they decide this, I will probably not even care anymore.
Amendments can be added whenever I or Eric feel necessary. Read: Eric will have to add amendments when Wedding Meltdown Number God-Only-Knows + 1 occurs.
Tomorrow's another day...
Posts
Oh Kelly! :o( I think I saw this one coming on Twitter this morning.
ReplyDeleteGo to sleep and forget about all the wedding nonsense. And in the morning it will all seem better.
As for me I think I've had one official meltdown and we hadn't chosen a venue. It was in Mexico - it BLAZING hot, our rental car wasn't working properly, and the resort person (Blue Tulum in case anyone wants to know) was HORRIBLE!!!!!!! She was pressuring us into signing a contract by giving us a $5 discount per person. I was insulted. Hot. Sweat. Annoyed with people's shifty ways. And so I cried. Pathetic, huh!?
See - you're not alone! :o)
Oh, man. I have a feeling this will be ME when I'm planning my wedding! I have a tendency to lash out at people and say things I totally do not mean when I'm stressed about something.
ReplyDeleteI love, love, love the rules! Eric seems like a good man to be marrying and can handle all of 8pm Kelly and Sunday Kelly. ;)
Oh no! I was hoping after reading your post about the wedding site all coming together so nicely that things were all good! I feel you on the "can't talk about stressful things on Sunday or after 8 p.m." Maybe I should make that a rule at our house too. Far too many fights happen about stupid stuff late at night. I hope tomorrow everything seems better!
ReplyDeleteI am all too familiar with the wedding meltdown. Both my fiance and I had one on Wed night. It was not good. But it passed and now we're fine.
ReplyDeleteAww Kelly. :( I will plan your wedding for you. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with wedding plans. I love it.
ReplyDeleteTry not to stress. No matter what, the day is going to be so special for you and everything will work out.
oooooooh :( sorry you had a meltdown. i hear wedding planning does that to a girl. sounds like you have a plan to deal with the stress from now on though!
ReplyDeleteOh Kelly, it seems like every bride has to go through this at some point... it's just sort of inevitable unfortunately. At least you can recogzie when you are being a bit unreasonable about something and then you can apologize - I don't think that all brides can see when they are being overly difficult.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Try not to stress... It's so tough, but in the end, it will all work out.
Oh hun, sorry to hear you had a meltdown. Knowing me, that sounds like something that would happen to me. Weddings can be so overwhelming and stressful! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteOh no, sorry to hear that dear. I'm sure it's normal for any bride-to-be though. Wedding planning is STRESSFUL! I like yours and Eric's rules, I think they will work well for you :) Hope you're feeling better after writing this post! XO
ReplyDeleteComing from a bride who did not get really stressed about the planning process...I have to remind you, this is ONE day. Yes, it is a very important day, but things will go wrong and everything might not be perfect but it will still be your perfect day. If you are not super into wedding planning, don't make it awful for yourself. I truly believe that you need to do what is right for you and Eric and even though sometimes it's hard to not listen to the advice of others...sometimes that is necessary in order to not go crazy. It's your day. It's about your marriage to the man you love. The details will fall into place. I think you have some good rules for yourself because you know your limits and that will help decrease the stress. I have an idea for you....when you get stressed about planning, ask your Kiddos to draw a picture of you and your husband on your wedding day. The pics will crack you up. I did this with my first graders and made a book that we displayed at the wedding. I wrote Mr. and Mrs. Toppel on the board and they labeled their picture....they were SO funny. It definitely made me feel happy.
ReplyDeleteKT
Ahhh, the pre-wedding melt downs. I remember those! And so does my patient husband! You'll get through it. I like the guidelines you set for yourself!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Sorry to hear it! I HATED wedding planning so at least you're getting through it - and just remember, you'll never have to do it again! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that your wedding stresses you out so much. I can totally see how someone who isn't into details and planning could really not enjoy this process. I personally love it and I think what KT said is very true, it is only one day. In the end it doesn't really matter what color the flowers are (although I would go with white for the bridesmaids) or what the cake looks like. It will all be ok!
ReplyDeleteI dunno, I just thought the whole wedding process was supposed to be fun...so I didn't have meltdowns because that would have ruined the once in a life time experience. His family made me nuts, so I just said sorry we love you this is how we are doing it and when on about my way. It was our day, to be done our way and celebrate our love...everyone else was a blessing to have there...but not their day.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhh, I feel your pain. I remember all too well. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAs much as I'm looking forward to planning my own wedding, I'm not looking forward to the arguments that I'm sure will ensue with my mother. I know it's going to be so stressful. Your rules are great though, I love them!
ReplyDeleteAnd when all else fails...just remember...it's YOUR day!
haha what a fun list! I like the 'get approval to get angry with someone' I tink this totally makes sense. Girl, it can be so stressful so make sure to take YOU time :) and jus tthink about how amazing everything will be!!
ReplyDeleteoh gosh... is that what I have to look forward too!! hehe..
ReplyDeleteWedding meltdowns are normal. I had many when planning. The majority of my meltdowns related to my mother-in-law. She wanted to take a little too much control on the wedding planning.
ReplyDeletelol. and here i just commented about how cool and collected you are... ;)
ReplyDeletedude it's totally understandable. i think you are going to have some over-reacting moments like this, but the good thing is your family and eric will be understanding and forgiving. i know you'll avoid putting yourself in this situation for the most part, but it's just gonna happen. also remind yourself that it is JUST one day. yes, the wedding/getting married part is a huge deal, but all the little details - meh. people won't remember what kind of napkin rings you had.
i love eric's note. hahaha.
Hey! New to your blog, but I just had to comment on this. I got married last May, so i understand your pain. When things got super stressful for me, my husband & I focused on two things: One- no one else's opinion matters more than the bride and groom. Two- focus on the marriage (instead of the wedding). The rest is just a party!
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, people say it is just one day but there is so much effort and planning and work that goes into that one day (or weekend) that it is bound to get stressful and down right annoying from time to time. And they are right- the smaller decisions fade away. It sounds like you have some good solutions planned for next time.
Mothers and mother-in-laws can also add a lot of stress.
I remember that I put so much into picking the table linens (champagne colored with a slight-crinkle-but-not-too-much texture. That night, you couldn't even tell whether they were white or champagne. Oops. :)
And two other quick things- you hear all the fun about wedding planning, but I discovered that a LOT of people don't like wedding planning. And last, things will go wrong. For me, in the days following my wedding, it felt like the perfect day because I got married, but I was sad some things didn't go right. It took about 2 weeks and one good cry for me to get to the point where my wedding "was perfect and the happiest day of my life." I swear, the bad memories fade quickly (if things don't go right) and you'll remember only the good!!!
Sorry, that was a lot of unsolicited advice from someone you don't now at all!!!! SORRY! :)
ReplyDelete