Happy Monday kids. Today felt exactly like a Monday even though I didn't technically have work because I had 900 errands to do and halfway through the day realized my driver's license expired 3 weeks ago..OOPS, so 2 hours of fun at the RMV it was. The best part? My name is changing in less than 2 weeks, which I can only assume means another fun RMV trip when I return from my honeymoon. UGH!
Speaking of the name change, I thought I should update you guys on my plans for that after my last post back in December on The Great Name Debate. As I found when I posted that, people have a LOT of opinions on this matter and it's taken me a LOT of debating to get to my decision, but I think I'm pretty happy about it. To summarize my general opinion on the topic, I think it's absolutely the most ridiculous crap EVER that women are expected to take their husbands name. However I can't really think of a better way to do it because honestly, what exactly is going to happen when one hypenated named child marries another? That's a lie, I can absolutely think of a better way to do it, everyone takes the woman's name! Unfortunately Eric does not agree. I told him that if he wants me to take his name he better start making enough money for me to be a housewife. Not a terrible comeback huh? Except that he happens to know that I'd rather work long hours any day than be independently responsible for cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and other housewife jobs. Comeback fail.
Anyway, I have come to a compromise on the whole thing that I am happy with (and Eric is happy with, which I suppose is important right?). I am going to take Eric's last name in life, keep my last name at work. For me this is the best of both worlds. I'll have the same last name as Eric and my kids, we'll be the "Eric's last name" family. However, I'll still get to keep my "work identity" and the kids, parents and everyone will be 100 percent clear on who I am. Also, since I teach in the town that my Dad and his 7 siblings grew up in, I will still be recognized as being related to them which grants me celebrity status among the townies. Best of both worlds.
My original concern with this option was that I was afraid I'd never get used to my new name without being called it all day, but most people are not teachers and they eventually figure it out, right? Besides, I am currently using my home address for half of my stuff and my parents for the other half (some things I didn't change because I figured I could change everything when I got married instead of changing things twice)- it has yet to cause me any confusion. I have it memorized which credit cards etc have my parents address and I know exactly what I have switched over. Turns out I'm a pretty smart girl, so I can keep it all straight- now with my address all in one place I have to keep myself on my toes somehow right?
My ONLY dilemma left (the hard part is over) is what to do technically speaking. I refuse to get rid of my middle name because it's my mom's name and I like it, so I'm keeping all 4 names (2 names with 5 letters, 2 names with 4 so I promise it's not that long- and I don't expect anyone to call me all of these names at once). The question now is whether to have 2 middle names or 2 last names? An example of a woman who has 2 last names not hypenated is Hillary Diane (middle name) Rodham (first last name) Clinton (second last name). To be honest I could care less either way but I'm wondering what the legal consequences are for a middle name vs. a last? Would I have more options as far as which name to use if my current last name is still part of my last name vs. my middle name? I don't see myself ever using both last names at once, but it's all about what to do with it legally speaking. If any of you have any advice on this, feel free to let me know. I don't know why but I am not a fan of the hyphen, I know its just a line, but it's a line I do not like haha.
Well, that's enough about names...wanna see some yummy food? Sure you do!
I recreated the amazing sandwich I had at Stephanie's the other day. I didn't have all the ingredients but it was still amazing...
Grilled sweet potato and red pepper with some mushed up avocado on sour dough bread. Perfection.
Speaking of perfection...
I dislike doing the work to eat my lobster and I can't eat mayo, so lobster rolls are out. This big guy is lobster for people like me, roasted and torn apart by someone other than me so I get to just enjoy eating my delicious lobster. This guy can be found at Ocean House in Dennisport. If you are in the area and you want amazing food with a view, this is your place.
I want more lobster just thinking about it right now. Even though it's 9:30 at night and I'm full. That's how good it is.
One more note on names, if you are not sure what to do about your change and/or happen to be against name changing you may enjoy this blog post by a woman very very against the name change. I agree with 95 % of what she says, except that I kinda do want the same name as my kids and she says if thats the case then your husband should change his name and frankly mine is not going to do that. That's fine- this is Eric's win...someday it will be my turn to win, and winN I will....
Current score on big giant important things...
Eric: 1
Kelly G W H (see? it's not too long): 0
Perhaps this sets me up for choosing the name of our first born?
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I was conflicted about it too. I decided to change it although the only place I've changed it so far is facebook. Of course, it's only been two days.
ReplyDeleteBahahahaha I LOVE your big post about names. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteI will likely do the same thing as you when I get married - keep my last name professionally and take his name in everything else. I would DEFINITELY give my kids my husbands last name. Eric's cousin just had a baby and they gave her a hyphenated last name and her name is SO FREAKING LONG! I feel kinda bad for the poor kid! Haha
There is so much meaning in a name. I'm glad you made a decision you feel good about :) I changed my name, and it was just before we moved, so it worked well....no one had to learn a new name (except me!)
ReplyDeleteOh boy, lots of thoughts here. I have told Nick before that I don't want to change my name, however deep down I know I will. I agree with you (and that lady) that is absurd that we have to change our names, but like you said, I want my children to have the same name as me! I just really LOVE my last name, and I will be sad to say goodbye to it :( I like your decision to not change your name at school. I used to get so confused when teachers did that!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I read your comment on my post yesterday and it's SO TRUE that having time off makes you feel it's imperative to get as much stuff done as possible. I started my to-do list about a month ago and have been trying to get EVERYTHING possible done. It's exhausting. I ma as well be working! But, I'm happy I have been so productive :)
I tried to convince Patrick to take my name, but it wasn't flying with him either. :-) I will be changing my last name and dropping my current one because I don't want to have to pay to change my middle name to be my current last name. I like his last name anyway, so it's not too big a deal.
ReplyDeleteI think people should do what's right for them and them only. I'm glad you came to the right decision for you.
ReplyDeleteI hate tearing apart lobster too. I would SO order that one. I don't like working up a sweat to eat dinner :)
oh my gosh, that lobster looks amazing!
ReplyDeletegreat post! I love the Ocean House!! last time I was their though I was underage and drank 2 of their huge apple martinis. (My dad's awesome gf was ordering me them.) haha love that place.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you came up with a solution to the whole name change debate that you are happy with. I kind of hate my last name since it is SO FREAKING LONG.... but, it's how people find me in the ginormous company I work for. So if I changed my name, it would be like I fell off the face of the earth. So when I get married, I might end up hyphenating only for work. Maybe. But outside of work no one would know about the hyphenation. We'll see. Maybe by then my company will have a way people to still be able to search by my maiden name? Doubt it, but who knows.
ReplyDeleteI kept mine and added my hubs - but with no hypen. (though everyone adds a hypen). It makes it easy to know if a telemarketer is calling as they ask for Mrs M.... I say she doesn't live here. :)
ReplyDeleteSweet potato sandwich... not something I would think of but it looks great!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good call on the name change.
As I began reading your post from last year, the first logical thing that came to mind is keep the maiden name at work, take on the husband's name in life. Good decision! =)
ReplyDeleteI wound up dropping my middle name and taking on my maiden name instead. I guess the question is whether it matters (in a legal sense) whether your two names are middle or last? I mean, my social security card just lists the names in order and doesn't designate what it first, middle or last.
This post just makes me glad I am 100% committed to taking my husband's last name when I get married. LOL...seems like such a headache! But yay for finally coming to a decision...it seems like the best one!
ReplyDeleteyou have thought about this WAY more than I ever did. I probably commented when you first brought this up that I didn't even think about it at all until AFTER I got married. At least you have a plan going in... :-)
ReplyDeleteI think this sounds like a great compromise. I like the non hyphenated double last name!
ReplyDelete