Monday, August 4, 2014

Best Friends

I met Katie when we were wide eyed, 18 year old, freshman at Boston College. I had slightly contradictory first impressions of the girl who would later become my best friend. In a drowning sea of JCrew outfits and fake smiles, I thought she was very real. But I was also overwhelmed by her. She had a boyfriend that she planned to marry. She had a promise ring and a hope chest, and I had never heard of either. She dreamed of decorating her future home and having lots of kids…I don't even dream of those things now, 12 years later. 

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Still, we became friends. Later, best friends. I lucked out in the best friend lottery. 

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The most famous story about Katie comes from the night I met Eric. She had befriended Eric's friend Brian during the night and he had already nicknamed her "fianc√©," not because they planned to get married but because he thought she had a fianc√© :) At the end of the night, I found her giving Eric my number. "How do you know my phone number!?" I demanded. It was a serious question, I still could only vaguely rattle off a few of her numbers even today. I just rely on Siri to know exactly who I mean when I say, "Call Bestie." 

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The next weekend we sat in her bedroom discussing if I should meet up with Eric again. I had spent the day studying and didn't feel like going into Boston. "But, what if he is your husband?" she asked. "He's not going to be my husband," I replied. Oops. 

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It's a good story, but there are so many others.The time I met Katie in a Bertucci's parking lot at 7 am to tell her I was pregnant. The time we went out to a club by ourselves. The many Bud Lights. The many glasses of wine. The walks around the reservoir. The dinners before quilting. The tables we danced on in Aruba. The tailgating in our Superfan shirts. The phone conversations on the way to my student teaching in Australia…and the many phone conversations in the 10 years since. The voicemails that get cut off because they are so long. 

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It's funny now to look back on those first impressions and think about how little they really matter. Now, 12 years later Katie and I have a lot in common. We both have a little boy. We both value friendship. We both work hard and get overwhelmed by work. We both are married to guys that make us laugh. We both love a glass of Pinot Grigio. We both get anxiety about meeting new people or not knowing what to expect. We both love vacations. 


We still have differences, but instead of hesitation they give us new perspective. I won't throw a Pinterest worthy birthday party, but I will certainly attend Katie's. She will not run a race, but she will cheer me on at mine. I will probably never make a quilt. She will probably never write a blog (or will she?). The feeling of being understood and supported even when the other person doesn't share the same desires is true friendship. 

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We have been through many "big things" together: college graduation, memorable birthdays, both weddings, trips and of course bringing Teddy and Max (BFFs, see above) into the world. But what stands out to me is the small things.  The fact that good news doesn't feel real until it's been shared with Katie. Or that if something annoying happens at work I can vent to Katie for my whole commute home and not even feel bad that I just massively dominated our phone conversation. That if I have no idea what I'm doing with Max, I can just quickly text "what should I do about ____?" That when "flabbergasting" things happen, I can count on a hilarious voicemail from Katie. That Katie will take care of logistics she knows are going to stress me out. That Katie wrote notes and presents to Max "from Teddy" every month of my pregnancy so Max and I have so many fun books to read and toys to play with. 


We will still be friends when we are 90. Do you get to choose roommates in the nursing home? If so, I pick Katie. 

Do you have a best friend? Tell me all about her (or him!)


  1. Aw, this is such a sweet post and a wonderful way to sum up what is clearly a really wonderful friendship! I do not have one best friend but I have been blessed to have several girls that I refer to as my best friends. The longest standing friendship that I consider a best friend relationship is my cousin. We live hours apart so don't see each other as often as we'd like, but we always pick right up where we left off when we see each other. We are in completely different phases of life as she is married and has 2 young kids and we have completely different careers as she is a elementary school counselor, but none of that matters. I am definitely more type A, she is more artsy and go with the flow, but it works. She calls me out on things and asks tough questions which I appreciate because sometimes you need that dose of reality. I'm definitely very thankful for her friendship through the years and I really think of her as more of a sister than a cousin or friend as we are only 10 months apart and grew up together.

  2. I love this post so much! September 9th will be my 15th anniversary with my best friend, Jody. My senior year of college some new girls moved in to the apartment above where I was living. They went to a different college then my roommate and I so I didn't know them at all, but they invited me upstairs to watch the MTV VMA's on 9/9/99. They also invited Jody who was a friend of theirs from college and that's when the magic happened... err well not really since Jody and I didn't like each other much at first. Soon though, we became friends, then best friends and now, 15 years later, her and her husband and daughter (and new not yet here baby!) are my family. One way to describe how Jody and I are different is by quoting her, "If you want an honest opinion about something ask me. If you just want someone to make you feel better about yourself ask Alli."

  3. What an awesome post; I love it! I dont know if I can pick just one best friend; I have several but the one that stands out the most is the girl I've known since I was 7. While we have spent most of our friendship in different States, she's always there. We've been in each other's weddings, we have ridiculous inside jokes, we are different and yet the same, while we are at different life stages (she has 2 kids full time and has been married for 7 years! vs my part time kids and not quite 2 years of marriage) we get each other, we can talk about anything and everything and she's pretty much my friend soul mate. We've already talked about living together Golden Girl style when we get older =)

  4. Aww what a sweet post! You guys definitely have a special friendship. My longest friend is my friend Michele (who was my maid of honour). She is actually more like a sister to me as we've been friends since we were 5 years old and are very close with each others families. We are in totally different places in life and the last couple of years have actually only seen each other about once or twice a year because she's been living in Australia, but we always pick up right where we left off when we do get together! Then my next longest friendship after that would be my friend Jen. We've been friends for 7 years now and I love our epic catch up sessions. She is one of the only people that I share pretty much everything with!

  5. I have two. My first from when I was 3 who now lives in Texas so we mainly keep in touch via fb and instagram because we HATE talking on the phone and the other that my mom introduced to me in 2008. Love them both and wish I could have more time to just hang out and drink wine and bitch with them!

  6. My best friend was my freshman roommate in college. We ended up living together all four years and are still besties. We don't live near each other, but we still skype once a week. I wish we could do the typical friend things like hang out and go shopping or go out to eat, but I am still really glad to have her in my life.

  7. LOVED this post!!!!! I am so happy for you that you have this relationship. I'm also jealous :) The way you talk about Katie and the stories you shared really touched me. At this point in my life, I don't feel like I have one person that I can dub as my "best friend." However, my closest friend in my adult day to day life is my local friend Erin. Since we share the same name we are called E1 and E2 and although we have known each other/been friends since preschool, we didn't become best friends until our mid 20s. We've shared a lot the past 8 years and I'd be lost without her.....

  8. "Flabbergasting" ... I about spit out my water reading that one. Hilarious! I loved this post - makes me want to be friends with Katie, too! =)

    I was never the kind of girl to settle down into one social circle. I had a lot of good friends, but best friends? Nah. To this day, I think my definition of best friend is very different than other people's definitions of the same thing. But, my bestie, my main (girl) squeeze? We met when we both trained for a marathon through the same organization. We've been on many adventures over the years and I just saw her get married a few weekends ago. I refer to her as, "the daughter my mother never had" ... because she's that kind of person, the person that everyone loves and everyone wants as part of their family.