You knew this post was coming right? The night of July 31st I went to bed and had my first "back to school" nightmare. It involved having 40+ kids in my class while my other K teacher friends had 10. With that I welcomed the month of August. The Sunday of Summer. The infamous month of the August breakdown. I think I'm at my quota for breakdowns in the year 2014 so I'm going to try to ward off a complete flip out by just admitting it: I'm kind of freaking out.
I thought that since I've already been back to work for 2 months as a "working mom" I wouldn't be as worried about going back in September. But, when I went back to school in April I was really just in survival mode. I basically had enough time to see how incredibly hard it was, but not enough time to come up with solutions to make it less impossible. Plus, I freak out every August, so clearly this year was going to be no exception.
Here is a little of my current concerns/worries:
1. It's going to be a lot harder to leave Max now that he is older. I actually left him more often as a newborn than I do now. Plus, he will actually probably know I'm gone now.
2. Max has decided to start waking up in the middle of the night again. I'm sure he is just doing this to freak me out before school starts again. But still.
3. I am so worried about what my class of 23 and counting kids are going to be like. Last year I had a pretty easy group and I still felt massively overwhelmed trying to get everything done in the limited time I have at work now. How in the world am I going to do it when I have a harder group?!
4. Plus, what if they are just crazy?
5. What if their parents are crazy?
6. What if Max never takes a nap because I can't nurse him to sleep?
7. What if I don't have enough time to get all my kids names on things before open house?
8. Should I sign Max up for swimming lessons? I have always looked forward to doing swim lessons with my baby ever since I taught them… but are they going to mess up his naps? Am I going to wake up and actually move on a weekend morning after doing it all week? Will it just add an obligation to an already too full schedule? Or will I be super bored and want to take him to swimming? I. DON'T. KNOW.
9. When am I going to work out? Will I ever work out again?
10. What am I going to take for lunch?
So… clearly I'm super calm right now. I know logically it will all be fine and if any one of these things are not fine, worrying about it is not going to help. So make me stop. Thank you.