Tomorrow begins my first full week back at work since I had Max in January. I did technically go back for one half day on Good Friday, but that was just a transition day since it was so short and Eric had the day off and was home with Max.
I know moms have a wide range of emotions when it comes to going back to work. I respect all of these emotions and I recognize that mine are influenced by my childcare situation. My mom will be staying with Max full time, which is pretty much ideal because I never ever have to worry about him. I also have the advantage that I'm a teacher and summer is coming in about 8 weeks :)
So how do I feel?
excited to think about normal things again and eat lunch with adults (and by "eat lunch with adults" I mean scarf down my food in 20 minutes so I can pump the last 10… yippee)
stressed thinking about getting everything done at work in a much shorter time frame (I'll be getting to work later so I can feed Max in the morning, and I probably will not have time for much work to be accomplished at home)
sad to not spend as much time with Max as I used to
happy to see my kindergarten students and to spend my favorite time of the school year with them
exhausted thinking about doing a whole day with the kindergarten kids and not even being close to done when I get home
nervous that I will miss all future "firsts" while I'm at work
But mostly I feel ready. I have said before I'm just not stay at home mom material. Anyone else give me until Wednesday to change my mind on this? Wish me luck :)
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Have a great first week back! I've probably said this before...but Max has got to be one of the cutest babies I've ever seen. He's so sweet!
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot to deal with! I think you've summed up all of the emotions pretty well! While my situation wasn't exactly identical (since I was home with Welles for his entire first year), I still felt much like you did when I went back to work full-time this fall. I love my job and was excited to get back with my students. I know he is in good hands when he is not with me. But, at times, the workload from school and home took a toll on me!!! When I was home the whole first year, I thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Now that I'm back in the swing of things, I DO think going to work is good for me---but it is SUPER hard to feel like I miss so much. I will be honest and say that the older he gets, the harder it is for me to be away from him. I just want to stay home and play with him!!!
ReplyDeletePlease know I am always here if you need to talk or vent! And the good news for both of us is summer is right around the corner!!!!!
Have a great first day back! You can do it!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, luckily if you decide you are stay at home mom material, you can always change it! The decision to go back to work is never permanent. I think you're going to like going back though, have an awesome day!!
ReplyDeleteI hope that your first day back at work is going very well. That is awesome that your mom is watching him as I am sure it's extremely comforting to know he is in such good hands! And I am sure you mom is loving all the extra time with Max. You definitely have the right to change your mind on whether you want to/are cut out to be a SAHM. I have always said that I *think* I will not want to be a SAHM and am more likely have a SAHD. Ha. But I could completely change my mind as the one person in our family who stayed home while my nephews were little is the person I least expected to stay home... So I think until you are in the situation you don't know what you will want to do.
ReplyDeleteBut I am glad you'll be done with school in 8 weeks! I am sure they will fly by as you will be so busy!!
I hope you have a good first week back! I can't imagine ever being able to AFFORD being a SAHM, never mind wanting to be one, haha. I would really like to work part-time one day. Two of my coworkers work part-time (one 8:30 - 1:30 and the other 8:30 - 2:30) and I feel like if you can afford that and make it work with your workplace it's kind of like having the best of both worlds!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll surprise yourself with how much you can still fit in. It reminds me of that sand analogy where you fill up the jar with all the important things first and then the sand fills the cracks. You might have to reprioritize or drop some things but I think you'll make time for the things that matter most!
I hope you had a great day! I think my happy balance is part-time but I don't think I will be doing that again unless a different job oppurtunity pops up. Full-time has definitely stretched me, made my house messier, bed time earlier and feelings of inadequency in all parts of my life. But I don't think I'd want to be home all day long either. Alone by myself, yes. ha. But, I am very excited for summer vacation when my child numbers go from 17 to 1. ;)
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh. So hard to go back. Pumping at work is challenging. I always felt like I had ZERO prep time, but you do what you have to do....It's awesome that your mom can watch Max. I love it when John's mom is in town and I can just rely on her to help with Grace. We still send Grace to daycare but I never have to worry about attending extra meetings or doing stuff outside of my work hours. I hope your emotions were okay today. I'm sure you enjoyed lots of snuggles when you got home!
ReplyDeleteHope it's going well for you this week; thinking of you lots as the week progresses. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI think you'll do great! I never thought of myself as SAHM material, either, and I haven't once regretted a return to work. And, I don't even get summers off to spend with Gavin. I think you'll both thrive once you get used to the new routine. Hope week #1 is going as well as can be expected.
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