Sunday, March 27, 2011

Are You a Hugger?

The topic of today's post is the very important question: Are You a Hugger?

But first, what is a hugger?

A hugger is a person who likes to hug people. They will definitely hug friends and family when they see them and when they say goodbye to them. Often the hugging may be extended to people outside of the close circle of friends. For example, Eric's aunt told me that Eric's mom once hugged the waitress at a restaurant. Cheryl = hugger. I also consider Eric to be a hugger but actually for him it's most often shown in the form of handshaking. Last week Eric and I were walking around our neighborhood and two kids were outside in the street playing basketball. Eric shakes one of their hands as we walk by. I kid you not. Eric = hugger/hand shaker.

I, on the other hand, am not a hugger. It's not that I don't like hugs because I do. It's not that I don't accept more hugs than the average person on any given day given my position as Kindergarten Teacher/Receiver of Hugs Extraordinaire. However, I have some kind of difficulty knowing when the appropriate hug-time/place is and therefore I would prefer to skip this pleasantry all together. This little complicated- is it a good time to hug? thing got even more complicated a few years ago when people started adding kissing to the mix. Are we hugging? Are we kissing? Are we waving awkwardly at each other? It's a mystery.

I bring this up because last night I was totally called out on my lack-of-huggyness. I don't know where it came from but suddenly Eric's aunt says, "oh yea, Kelly hugs like me, a nice little tap." Caught in the act. Then Eric proceeds to inform me that he can tell I don't really like hugging people because I always look really awkward. Awesome. Was kinda hoping those thoughts were just on the inside.

There are times when there is no question, hugging is the best plan. Leaving for a long trip? Hug. Returning from 6 months in Australia? Hug. Friend or family member is crying? Hug. Friends have huge news? Hug. There are even certain people where you know hugging is the best plan. Eric and his mom for one. I had a friend in Australia who was such a hugger she even linked arms with whoever she was walking with. She did it to me more than anyone else because she knew it was the anti-Kelly. I didn't mind it though because it was predictable. I don't like unpredictable huggyness. If you want to hug me, you must be decisive and go right for it, don't leave me in the awkward limbo of "should we hug right now?"

I think my original lack of love for hugging comes from middle school. At my middle school there were these girls who were SO fake and loved to hug everyone. It didn't matter if they hated the person it would be this fake squeal of pretend love and then a big hug. I made it my mission to not give fake hugs. After awhile, not giving hugs just became part of me. I now realize most hugs are from a place of love, but old habits die hard? It's gotta be something in my personality too, middle school can't ruin you for life, can it?

I should probably mention though... few glasses of wine Kelly = hugger. So, if it's true that a drunk mans words (actions) are a sober mans thoughts then I guess that makes me a closet hugger?

Tell me, are you a hugger or not? Why do you think you are the way you are?


  1. This entry made my literally laugh out loud--mostly because I totally identify with you as a non-hugger! As a high school teacher I constantly have a space bubble around me--nevermind hugging, I want a 12 inch radius because anything else is weird and inappropriate! And it totally carries into my day-to-day life.

    EXCEPT! When some is even LESS of a hugger than me, it opens a door. I have friends who are freaked out by touching and I am CONSTANTLY touching them/putting my arm around them/hugging them. That is because its hilarious to me!

  2. I am a hugger, but I don't know if I have always been a hugger! I think we started hugging more as a family when my sister and I moved away for college and came home occasionally!

  3. I am not a hugger. I always feel awkward when I give hugs - I have no idea why. Perhaps because I am short?

  4. Omg, I am so so so NOT a hugger!!! It just makes me...uncomfortable. In fact....don't even touch me. Don't console me and rub my shoulder. Lol.

    As a nurse..sometimes I'll have these patients that want to hug me and thank me. And, in general, it's the "nursey" thing to do to hug back & be touchy feely...

    But I want to put on a "hazard gown". and after they touch me..I immediately spray on hand-sanitizer.

    But I like hugging my close family and husband?!So I'm not that heartless!!

  5. i used to be very anti hugging. because that's what my family is. buttt lately i've gotten into hugging. not strangers but i will admit to hugging people over shaking their hand hahah

  6. Oh I am most DEFINITELY a HUGGER. In fact, I have had to learn to stop myself cos I just hug when I meet someone. It was learned behavior as I'm from southeast Texas and from a Cajun background. It's just part of our culture and environment to make those who we meet feel welcome. As my world broaden (meeting those outside of Texas and Louisiana) I learned to stop and 'inform' them "I'm a hugger"...and watch for their reaction to see if I can...and just how big a hug they'll accept.

  7. Haha this is so funny bc I was just thinking about the same thing! I feel like I am not a hugger or at least I do not give off a hug vibe bc my friends hug each other more than they hug me. Commenting from my iPad :0)

  8. HA! I'm totally NOT a hugger! In fact, I'm barely a toucher.

    I have personal space issues. As in I have issues when someone gets in it . . . LOL

  9. Oh man Kelly. I am SO going to tackle hug you next July (or this August, whichever comes first ;) )

    To REALLY answer your question, I'm not really a hugger either, it can totally be kind of awkward sometimes. But I WILL tackle hug you when I finally meet you :P

  10. I am not a hugger... I blame my German heritage. I just think it is awkward. I think we are very similar in this regard. When I read this, the person I thought of was Amber as I thought - she is SO a hugger!!! :)

    I've gotten better about hugging but in general, it's something i reserve for very close friends/family.

    But the worst is when someone wants to do the cheek kiss thing! I die!

  11. I agree that there is always that awkward moment with hugging, but I would consider myself a hugger.

  12. I am so not a hugger. Not even a little. And I am okay with who I am!

  13. So not a hugger. I only hug family coming and going. I do hug my husband a lot. We hug each a lot actually but others? Um no. hahaha. Kids? Yes. Adults? Not so much. I am totally an awkward hugger/handshaker too.

  14. I had to laugh at your aunt's comment because that is exactly what my husband is like. He always gets teased for being a crappy hugger. I get all the good ones. :)

    I, on the other hand, am a big hugger. I hug everyone and I give good hugs. Sometimes it's not appropriate, lol.

  15. Ha! I love this. I'm totally not a hugger either...I'm big on personal space.

  16. I love that last quote about a drunk man's thoughts. SO TRUE!
    I think I am like you Kelly. I don't mind hugs when they are predictable (Nick's mom, for example, and my mom, obviously) but when it's a situation where I'm not sure if hugging is in order (or if it's someone who is COMPLETELY FAKE!) I get all awkward. The most awkward hugging is with Nick's larger friends. They think they need to hug me, because I'm a girl, but it's always a weird half-hug where I get stuck in a sideways hug (sounds strange, can't really explain it....). All together hugs are ok with certain people, but not others. And yes, when I'm drinking, hugs for everyone!!