I expected being a mom to be really hard. I expected a flood of the baby blues and a lot of crying. It is hard, but not at all in the way I expected.
It turns out the actual mom part has been easier than I thought. I can change diapers easily, even with a squirmy newborn. Sleep has been a challenge but I haven't missed out on it entirely. Eric and my mom have basically taken over the household and we have had so much support from family and friends. So grateful for that. It also does not hurt that I love Max so much it barely even bothers me to pry myself from the bed (a challenge in itself) at 3am. Breast feeding is going well considering he was born so early. I almost don't mind it other than the fact that I feel like that's all I do all day long.
What has been hard can be summed up as: my body. It is a mess. At the hospital I didn't change a single diaper because standing up was so difficult. When I got home it seemed to get better so slowly I could barely see a difference. Yesterday the pain started to get a little better but I felt myself mentally slipping. I was convinced the honeymoon was over and I was having delayed baby blues. But then I decided to take my temp and guess what it was 104! Cue tears and freak out. I found myself back in Labor and Delivery and they ran a million tests on me. As of now they think it's mastitis so I started antibiotics last night. By some miracle Max, the best baby ever, decided not to have his middle of the night fussy spell and he slept all night except to eat. Love him.
My fever is now down to 100 so I'm hoping I am on the mend and maybe this will be the end of my issues. Of course I am thankful it's not th baby with a 104 temp!
If nothing else it's impossible to be even slightly angry at this...
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I love that picture of the two of you cuddling in bed. So sweet.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear your body is not handling this whole mom shift as well as your emotions and brain are handling it. I hope that you are 100% better asap and I'm glad Max is doing so great! It would be IMPOSSIBLE to get even slightly angry at that adorable little guy!
You poor thing! I hope your temperature continues to go down! And those last pictures? I DIE.
ReplyDeleteHope the medications help and you are feeling better soon. Max is adorable! And congratulations :)
ReplyDeleteI am happy to hear that so far Motherhood is more 'doable' than you thought it would be. Now if your body would just heal and cooperate that would be awesome! I hope the meds help and you are back to 100% soon in terms of your body healing (I don't expect you to be 100% yourself while you are on such a different sleep schedule...). I am glad you have extra help to get you through this transition!
ReplyDeleteMax is so so adorable - glad you can look at his cute face to get you through these less great parts of recovery.
Well, I'm happy you are enjoying motherhood a lot! I think it would be very hard to get mad at that sweet face! And it's so awesome you're getting so much help. I think every new mother needs that! But man, what a MESS with your body. That's no fun at all. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Hopefully you start healing and feeling better. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteAwwww I love the pic of you guys snuggling! You and Eric seem completely and totally smitten with Max and it's adorable to watch. I keeping hoping and praying that your body pulls itself together. You are the most healthy person I know and it's totally not fair that you're going through this. Booo labor!!
ReplyDeleteI definitely think being a mom (especially a new mom) is hard, but it just becomes your new normal. Before I had a baby the idea of getting up early on the weekends was devastating and now it's just routine. Sure, it would be nice to sleep in sometimes, but when I hear that little voice calling "mama" in the morning, it just makes it all worth it.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel and continue to feel better. Thank goodness Max knew his mom needed a bit of a break :) xo
ReplyDeleteUgh. Hope you are feeling better! I surprised myself with my ability to jump up in the middle of the night. The worst in the newborn stage was the actual morning when I wanted to keep sleeping and of course then she'd want to be up for a couple of hours. The middle of the night started becoming annoying around 9 months right before she finally slept through the night allll the time because um 6 straight hours does NOT mean all not crazy people, and is now annoying anytime she does it at almost 3 because dude. I'm still tired ha. Insomnia might have something to do with it too.
ReplyDeleteThe pain while recuperating from your 3rd degree tear sounds eerily similar to my recuperation from an emergency c-section. Makes me so very thankful that during normal times, the simple act of walking comes so easily to me. =)
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