Sunday, July 7, 2013

On people doing things "at me" and taking the pressure OFF

In the social media world (which I wish was the real world because then we'd be hanging out) Becky has been RAVING about this book she just read: Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed. I'm not gonna lie… when she first mentioned it I thought it was a political book about living without guns and I was thinking, "really? how did someone write a whole book on this?" Though I'm sure someone could...


Once I found out it was actually about just living without all the barriers we all put up, I thought it sounded more interesting so I started reading the blog by the author. Yeah, it's kind of a mom blog. I'm not a mom. Oh well, I skimmed through it. Then I found this post: Quit Pointing Your Avocado at Me. It's about the mommy-wars, of which I am not in. But oh my god, it is oh so applicable to a don't wanna be but am competitive girl stuck in a world of seemingly crazy people trying to outdo each other at every single turn. She discusses how when people do things, like bring their child an avocado to a mall food court (instead of just buying them some freaking pizza or "chicken" nuggets), they aren't doing it AT YOU. When people run a marathon, they aren't doing it AT YOU. When people get a promotion at work, they aren't doing it AT YOU. Not to make everyone out to be selfish a-holes, but everyone is doing what they need to for themselves, and what I do or don't do has very little impact on them at all. 


Is it just me or is that kind of freeing? When someone finishes their report cards at work before me, it actually has nothing to do with me, they just do it for themselves, as do I when I finish them. When someone manages to complete all their monthly goals and posts about it on their blog, they aren't trying to rub it in my face that I had a bad goals month- did I even make goals? If someone posts a photo of a party they hosted that looks like the entire thing is Pinterest worthy, this actually has nothing at all to do with me and the completely non-Pinterest worthy parties I throw and celebrate that I actually hosted an event at all. 


We all have our wonderful strengths and our weaknesses, or things we just don't care much about. That's what is so great about us. 98% of the time, I have no problem remembering this, and I'm genuinely happy for the marathon runners and the Martha Stewart party and meal hosts. It's just those occasional times when you need the reminder, no one is pointing their avocado at me. No one. Well, except maybe Eric with his fancy flips into freezing cold Maine water. 


IMG 9170

What are the things you feel like sometimes people do "at you?" :) 


  1. I love this!! :) And I actually bought this book this weekend when I was with Becky but just in the introduction I read something outloud that resonated with me. It was about how this author has people tell her that she has this easy life, but they don't know the half of what she is dealing with, they just think it looks effortless and easy. But she acknowledge that maybe if we let down our guards and showed that we are struggling with things, others would let down their guards, and we'd all be better off because we could actually talk about things that are happening instead of pretending everything is ok. Which I feel like I have done a pretty good job of this spring, but I still have people tell me I am handling the move so well or that I am so brave and I am like - um not at all...

    Anyways, I totally went off subject there. This post resonates with me as I have found myself getting kind of pissy when people write posts or tweet about running. Like you said, they are not doing it AT me. Just because I can't do something right now, doesn't mean others shouldn't, and it's not about me...

    Great post. :)

  2. This is SO freeing. It seems like such a simple concept, but one that we completely overlook because we take things so personally. I am going to add this book to my reading list!

  3. I love this. Our social media would has really heightened that competition that exists between each other. And unforunately, there are times where I fee inadequate compared to others. But, as you said, have to remind myself that we all have genuine strengths and abilities. Sounds like a good read!

  4. When I have time, I do actually read Glennon's Momastery blog. (Funny enough, I don't really think of it as a mom blog, but as you indirectly pointed out, a blog that talks about her life and provides global ideas we can all relate to our own lives.) Anyway, I love the reminder this both of your posts provide ... that we're all fumbling through this world and our lives the best way we know how ... and most of the time, what we do has everything to do with ourselves and nothing to do with anyone else.

  5. This is such a great concept to remember! I’ve never really thought about things that way. I know we all have our own strengths, just as we all have our own insecurities. And when people talk about their achievements and gush about their goals… it’s not a direct dig at those of us who may not be achieving or making our goals. Very, very interesting. I have this book marked as to-read (I’ve never read the blog, but I love the topic of the book) on Goodreads so now I really want to start reading her blog and see what else she has to offer!

  6. I have read that avocado post before and loved it! So so true. The online world makes it way to easy to be jealous doesn't it?

    I might have to check out that book!