I did not go into motherhood with rose colored glasses, so you may find it surprising when many of my posts about Max (do I write other posts anymore?) are all rainbows and sunshine. Mostly, I have been happily surprised at how many great things Max has brought into my life and how worth it everything else is.
But, it's not all rainbows and sunshine. So, thanks Nora for inspiring me to write about the hard stuff. The hard stuff for me anyway.
*But seriously, these are just mine, you may find totally different things hard and easy… or you may never have a kid, that's fine too (smart actually, ha) I'm really just writing these in case the day comes when I think it's a good idea to have another kid.
Hard #1:
The repetitive monotony that is a day with a young child. You can tell by my workouts over the years that I love to change things up. Babies, do not love to change things up. They love routine and structure and diaper changes and naps and more diaper changes and more naps, oh and eating, and more eating. Sometimes I feel like if I have to zip another zipper or do another snap, I may cry. (Disclaimer: I zip a lot of zippers at work too, this may contribute to my irrational hatred of zippers…)
Hard #2:
The battles. No mom, I don't want to nap. No mom, I don't want to put socks on. No mom, I don't want you to change my diaper. No mom, I don't want to wear clothes. Did you hear me, I am NOT taking a nap? No mom, I do not want this toy because Dad's phone charger looks a lot more interesting. I WILL NOT NAP. Who says babies don't talk?
Hard #3:
The crazy increase in the amount of chores necessary with a baby. Every day after work I find myself labeling bottles of milk, organizing milk, washing pumping parts, putting them in the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher (which I now have to run almost daily), drying the previous day's pumping parts, packing the next day's pumping parts…and probably more involved in pumping I am forgetting. There is also the endless laundry, which again is okay in theory but folding and putting away tiny clothes gets to be time consuming. A baby just adds so much STUFF to do, other than directly take care of the kid.
Hard #4:
So you know how kids like schedule and routine and structure? Yeah, they do. But they don't give a crap about keeping your schedule and routine and structure. In fact, they prefer to alter it as much as possible. Having a kid has tested all of my awesome planning skills I used to have. Current example: I have to study for a test for work. I don't have time to study for a test for work (see above) so I made a whole great plan involving waking up 30 minutes early and studying for the test while working out. I figured that I wouldn't miss that much sleep. But then, guess who decided to start waking up for over an hour in the middle of the right? Oh yea… you guessed it. So now I either lose close to 2 hours of sleep, or enjoy those last 30 minutes. You can imagine what is winning.
Hard #5:
Before I had a kid, I was always prepared. I brought snacks everywhere, I always had a sweater in case it got cool. At work, I carried tissues and band aides everywhere. I was on top of it. But babies need ALL. THE. STUFF. Food, bottles, sippy cups, hats, jackets, socks, burp cloths, toys, sleep sacks, blankets, diapers, wipes, strollers, loveys, the list goes on. I never NEVER EVER have all the stuff we need. Ever. Every time we go out it's just a waiting game to see what I forgot and hope it's nothing essential.
Hard #6:
Mom Brain. I had hoped that Pregnancy Brain was just a short lived form of torture. But, no such luck. It continues into motherhood. Last week I packed all of Max's food, my pumping stuff and a few other things into a big bag for the Cape. I thought I had Hard #5 MASTERED. Until, I basically stepped right over and said bag, and walked right out the door. Without the bag. Insert emergency trip to the grocery store and Babies R Us. Fast forward 24 hours. I accidentally put Max to bed in just a onesie… no sleep sack, no pants. I didn't notice this until almost 2 hours later when I looked at the video monitor and saw Max's bare legs on the screen… It was seriously freezing out so I had to put on the sleep sack… which woke him up… which lead to crying… which lead to me hating myself. Sigh.
Some days it's just so obvious to me why they make children cute...
Who me?
Yes you...
Couldn't be...
Then who?
*Photos by Caroline
Thanks to "Who Stole the Cookies From the Cookie Jar?" for inspiring this post.
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Ohhh man! I can only imagine how much extra work it would be to have a kid. Getting myself out the door with all the stuff I need is a struggle some days and on those days I always think "can you imagine if you had a little person to get ready and out the door right now too?" and it seems like it would be impossible. I also already feel like I constantly forget something so that scares me that it's multiplied with kids! haha
ReplyDeleteLike you said, good thing kids are so cute!
Aw, good thing Max is so cute! Love those photos at the end! I would have been SO pissed about forgetting the bag. That just sucks. And I hate that feeling of forgetting something because it takes me quite a while to let it go... but maybe I will get better at that when I have kids since I am sure I will forget things all the time.
ReplyDeleteI like honest posts like this. I think it's better to be honest and say 'this is really hard and it's not all awesome moments and cute photos'. I know you can never be prepared for some things, like motherhood, until you go through them.... but I think I have more realistic expectations than my friends who had kids younger did because I've seen how people's lives have changed... But maybe it's a blessing that they didn't know what they were getting into. Ha.
I love that you're writing about the hard stuff -you're doing a great job Mom, hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure this is why babies are so cute. It's their super power.
ReplyDeleteGah, you amaze me though. Keep plugging!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are sharing what I call "life behind the curtain," it may not be glamorous but it's yours, right? One of my good friends is about to have their first child and she was telling me about ALL THE STUFF They are registering for and while I get it, at the same time, man, that's a lot of stuff. I can't fathom it. Except, I kind of can as we have lots of stuff for the girls when they are with us, but it still blows my mind. Upside? I promise someday Max will be able to pack his own bag of stuff to take with him...teaches responsibility and all that jazz. I think you're doing a great job and Max is 100% adorable (as always). <3
ReplyDeleteI love how real you keep it about motherhood and parenting. It's definitely refreshing! My pregnancy is almost over (7 more weeks!) and the hard part is definitely about to start. Some days I'm scared shitless about what is to come, but realize that so many women have done it before me, so I know I can get through it too
ReplyDeleteTotally agree. It's so hard to juggle everything and I HEAR YOU on the pumping parts. I finally bought an extra set so I don't have to worry about drying everything.
ReplyDeleteI forget things in mid sentence still. I feel it's the severe ADD I caught the year after she was born. More so than before haha.
ReplyDeleteAs parents, I think we have to ask ourselves this: Despite all our shortcomings in the realm of parenting, how is my child doing? Is he happy? Does he seem well rested on most days? Does he seem to eat enough? Is he hitting his developmental milestones? Is he thriving? If the answer is yes (or mostly yes), then I think all the other stuff just adds for colorful stories, but does not introduce a need to be hard on ourselves. I think you're doing an outstanding job in the parenting department - you have Max to prove it!
ReplyDelete