Baby Fever or Baby Fears?

As you probably know, I love kids. The last six years of teaching kids have brought me so much joy and laughter. Those children have made me so proud of their accomplishments and so happy for their happiness. However, those same children have also brought me stress, sleepless nights and challenges I sometimes felt I could never solve. In the next few years it will come time to have my own kids, and this really, truly scares me. Teaching is hard, and I know that being a parent will be so much harder. There are no vacations or long weekends from parenting. There is no saying goodbye to responsibilities at night, there are no lunch breaks. There is no saying goodbye at the end of a school year. From the minute I have that baby, there will be no break from being a mom for the rest of my life. I realize people take this plunge every minute somewhere on earth and that I am probably more prepared than some of those people to do this. But I still really, really fear it. There is a brief list of my baby related fears...

1. Sleep. I need it. I'm cranky and I get sick easily when I don't have it. Kids take it away. If it's not a crying and hungry infant, it's a sick and throwing up seven year old. If it isn't a "got in trouble at school today" fourth grader, it's a staying out way too late teenager.





2. Marriage. I once "joked" to Eric in a restaurant in Hawaii that kids ruin relationships, much to the evil eyes of the family next to us, oops. But in all honesty, Eric and I are really happy right now and I do worry that when we start losing sleep and having more responsibilities and less alone time, we will take it out on each other.





3. Work. I have had the pleasure of watching some wonderful teachers at my school become moms, and getting to know some already-mom teachers. I know it can be done and as far as full time jobs go, it's probably a good one to have with kids. But even still I worry about not being as good of a teacher, or as good of a mom. I worry about how I will react to dropping a baby off god-knows-where on my way to work. I worry even more about deciding not to work and surviving both financially and mentally as a stay-at-home mom.



4. Friends. I know it's unrealistic to expect to have as much time to devote to friends when you have kids and I'm okay with that. But I still worry, what if I can't maintain my friendships at all? What if my only friends become my kid's friend's moms? Or worse yet, what if I don't like any of my kid's friend's moms?



5. Kids. It goes without saying that the child itself is a huge fear of mine. Sure, I don't have any idea how to feed a baby, or really anything to do with a baby but I assume I will figure that out (aka ask my mom). I also don't really know what I'll do when my first grader's teacher calls, or my teenager lies to me. I truly believe I'd be able to figure out and manage all these "typical" situations, but what about the atypical? What if my child is born or acquires a real sickness? What if my child has a serious, serious behavior problem or autism or a delay? OR... what if my kid hates me? The possibilities are endless people...plus have I mentioned I am not good with throwing up? Kids always throw up... never in the toilet.



6. Tragedy. I'm not going to go here. I'm sure you can use your imagination. This scares me more than 1-5 put together.





I won't even get into my pregnancy fears.... but they definitely involve throwing up in the middle of teaching my students...



Wow, why do people do this again?



Anyone with me!?!

On Books

One of my goals for 2012 is to read 40 books. My favorite, favorite part of my job is teaching kids to read. I love reading myself and I want my kids to love reading just as much. Here are some random thoughts I have on books and reading... Please chime in with your thoughts in the comments.







On love for books: Most who know me know that I am not a big movie person. I enjoy TV shows, but movies are often too long for my attention span. I like some, but I am definitely more of a book person. What I love about books is how much is left up to my own imagination. There have been so many times I have pictured a character looking 100% different than someone else has. I also love how much more you learn about a character by reading about their inner thoughts, which often cannot be portrayed in movies as well. Usually how much I like the characters = how much I like the book.


On love for talking about books: I love getting book recommendations from friends, and then discussing what we liked/didn't like about the book. This is why I love participating in our Blogger Book Club, and also why I'm obsessed with good reads. A lot of my friends enjoy reading books as much as I do. Last year two of my friends and I read The Help and Water for Elephants and then saw the movies together.








On e-readers: Since I first wrote my post on the Kindle Pros and Cons I now own a Kindle and am pretty much in love. The cons I wrote about, particularly about having yet another cord/thing I need to charge are still a problem, but for the most part I would say the Pros of the Kindle far outweigh the cons for me. Still, although I love my Kindle I really, really fear what e-readers will do to books. I am particularly nervous about children's books being taken over by the e-reader. I can't imagine in 10-15 years only reading books to kids on a big projector! I don't even want to imagine...


On classics: While I have come pretty far from my days of Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High and chick lit after chick lit title, I am still not a fan of "the classics." I have often wondered if this was because I was forced to read many of these so-called classics at a time in my life (middle school/high school) when I simply was not ready to understand or appreciate them. I know I should give them another chance now, but so far my small attempts have been unsuccessful. In some ways I blame these books for wasting precious time in high school that I could've been reading some of the great young adult books that I now realize are out there. All that work I do in kindergarten getting kids to love reading and bam... high school English teachers go and ruin it.


On bookstores: Yet another fear about e-readers and Amazon in general is how quickly they seem to be putting bookstores out of business. Noooo! I love bookstores. Seriously, Eric and I can easily spend an hour or two in a bookstore without any effort. I love looking through travel books, teaching books, kids books and books for me. Plus, what is better than the feel of a brand new book? The only way to make bookstores better for me would be if they happened to open a frozen yogurt shop inside instead of a coffee shop.


On book recommendations: The past few weeks I've read some good, mostly quick read books. I highly recommend The Midwive's Confession and Saving CeeCee Honeycutt. I also really liked Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas and State of Wonder.


What are your thoughts on books? Have you read any good ones lately?

Kelly's Confessions

One of the kiddos I tutor on Tuesdays is making his First Communion this year. Last week was his first experience with Catholic Confession. I enjoy talking to kids about what they say in confession (yeah I know it's supposed to be confidential, oops) because they always come up with the funniest things. This particular child had an awesome list that included stealing his own Halloween candy, bringing his "in class" work home to finish so he wouldn't have to do it during recess and pretending a video game was broken so his sister couldn't play it. I wish I had been more creative when I was in CCD- I think I just said I was mean to my brother and sister every time. I swear I was actually a pretty nice sister overall but frankly I was young and really didn't do *that* much wrong to speak of! I don't really do the Confession thing any more... but I do have some random blog-worthy Confessions for you...

1. I am a little obsessed with Siri, my iPhone personal assistant. Today on the way home from yoga, she helped me change my dinner reservations for this weekend, text my mom to tell her about that change and text Eric back about what the heck we were having for dinner tonight. All this without looking at my phone at all. Once, I told Siri I loved her. She said I was the wind beneath her wings.

2. If it was socially acceptable I would live in yoga pants, leggings, flip flops and Uggs for the rest of my life.

3. Eric can easily convince me to do things I don't want to do if he casually mentions this annoyance is close to one of my favorite restaurants and promises we can go there after. I'm easily manipulated.

4. Even though I am a kindergarten teacher who holds my students to high expectations, I am a terrible student myself. I constantly check my phone, write notes to people around me and get other work done while the teacher is talking. I know, I hate myself sometimes.

5. IBS is the best excuse to never eat a single salad again. I hate salad and luckily, so does my stomach! It seems to love delicious sour dough and/or french bread though... seriously IBS is not all bad.

Do you have any confessions for me today? My lips are sealed :)

How to Plan the Best Trip- Kelly Style

If you know me at all, you know that I love a good trip. In my ideal world, I would probably go on 5 or 6 big trips a year. But alas, I do not have endless time and money. So when I plan a big trip, I really plan it. I think the trip planning obsession began with Eric and my fantastic Europe trip in 2006. Amber requested a post on how I plan a trip, so here it is :)

1. Decide on a general budget. Unless you already know where you want to go, you'll want to start with a budget. If your budget is $2000 it will be difficult to take a trip to China or even Europe because the airfare will cost close to or more than you want to spend on the whole trip. Also, decide what kind of things you want to spend money on. Are you okay with most of your budget going to airfare and then staying at hostels and eating Ramen noodles when you arrive? Would you prefer to go somewhere closer and then stay at a more luxury hotel or eat at nice restaurants? I also have some money saving tips and if you have no real budget at all, you can always be a tourist at home!

2. Decide where to go. For me this is the #1 hardest part. The problem is I love everything from small town Sedona to the big cities of Paris and London. I love the Irish countryside and the Hawaiian Islands. There are very few places in the world I don't want to visit. I do think it's important to determine what kind of vacation you want. Would you prefer to lay on the beaches at an all inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic or sprint around Rome taking in every possible ruin?

3. Talk to people you know. One of my favorite places on earth is Sedona and I found it because when I posted on my blog that I was going to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon, I received multiple comments telling me to go to Sedona. When I first started planning my trip to Seattle and Vancouver this summer, I e-mailed my friend who lives in Seattle and talked to my friend who has been to Seattle multiple times. The people you know are the best source of information about how long you should stay, where you should stay and what you should do.

4. Get some travel books. I have to admit I love travel books, particularly the Eyewitness books because they show you lots of great pictures. You can take these out of the library or buy them, it's up to you. My dad just introduced me to Eyewitness Top 10 books which I really love because they narrow down the top 10 things to do in an area overall, and then by neighborhood etc.

5. Book Your Flight. Usually the first thing you need to do is book a flight to your location. I recommend checking out several different websites to get the best deal. Sometimes the airline's website has the best deal. Bing Travel offers a price predictor for certain flights where it tells you whether your flight is likely to go up in price or down if you wait. It can also be useful to check a few days before and after your approximate date of departure because flight prices can vary a lot just by day. I've also heard rumors that flight prices are cheapest on Tuesdays and most expensive on the weekend. It's also possible it's all a crap shoot!

6. Visit TripAdvisor. I truly love this website and credit it for most of the success I have when planning vacations. I always start by using TripAdvisor to plan where I will stay on my trip. It has fantastic hotel reviews from real people. They even have a specialty lodging section which means you can read reviews on houses or apartment for rent. This can be an awesome way to save money especially if you plan to stay in one place for at least a few nights. You can also use TripAdvisor to determine if you will need to rent a car, and there are forums where you can ask questions. Also, revisit TripAdvisor often when you are planning what you will actually do when you arrive on your trip.

7. Bring your Laptop or Smart Phone. As much as I enjoy planning trips, I have trouble planning every detail until I am really on the trip. I like to decide each day based on my mood what I will do that day. This is why I find it SO essential to have my computer or smart phone available so I can use TripAdvisor or regular google searches to get ideas for places I want to see, hikes or walks I want to go on, restaurants I want to eat at etc. I also love the Yelp app on my phone which allows me to search restaurants by my current location. This way I can see reviews of nearby restaurants and make educated decisions about where I want to eat.

Happy Trip Planning! Do you have any exciting trips planned in the near future? If not, what is one great trip you have done in the past?

Wine and Love

It's been awhile since I last participated in Nora's Wine and Love. What better way to start off the first week of 2012? I'll tell you what made me need the glass of wine this week and what I loved. Feel free to play along too in the comments :)

Wine

1. Um, going back to work? Need I say more. It's been REALLY dark in the morning.

2. Cold. It was 7 degrees this morning on my way to work. Dislike.

3. Shutterfly sold me a calendar in November of 2011 for 2011... didn't realize this til yesterday because I gave it to Eric's mom for Christmas. REALLY SHUTTERFLY? Who wants a calendar for that year in NOVEMBER? Yes... being a detail person would be useful sometimes.

4. I have this thing where I like to get the super busyness over early in the week and just go to work and relax Thursday and Friday. That didn't happen this week because I have class today and tutoring tomorrow morning. Wah.

Clearly this week was pretty good overall though, as these are all minor complaints!

Love

1. Friends. This week I got to see Tiff for coffee/tea on Monday and Katie for pre-quilting class (hers, to clarify) dinner. I love when I get to see friends in the middle of the work week, though technically Monday was not a work day.

2. Yoga. I started towards my goal of 4 yoga classes this month by going to a class. It was awesome for a couple of reasons. #1- Caroline went with me! She was back in Boston mid-week and I got to benefit! #2- It was warm. See wines. #3- It was a class to music and the music was actually good, all Michael Jackson! I'm not a crazy fan of Michael Jackson but I enjoyed the Jackson Five and Michael mix as it was better than the weird yoga music they usually play :)

3. Reading. I told you I'm obsessed with reading lately? I finished Saving CeeCee Honeycutt last night and absolutely loved it. I just started Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas, recommended by Lisa. I wish I could just hang out and read all day. Is that a choice?

4. Fine, the kiddos were pretty cute this week. I do love them. Really. I just wish I could teach them maybe... 2-3 hours per day? and then have the rest of the day to do whatever I want. Three day weekends wouldn't be bad either. Too much to ask?

What is your wine and love this week?

What Will 2012 Be?

2011 was a great year, starting with Uncle Jessie and ending with fireworks on South Beach! In between, I had a lot of fun but what I didn't do was really meet too many of my "goals" for the year. I completed one out of four...oops!

The funny thing is, many of my goals for 2011 just aren't even on my radar anymore. Even the one goal I did complete, getting back into running, was done in a way I didn't think it would be. I thought I'd be conquering new distances and running lots of races. In reality, I only did one race and I didn't conquer any new distances. After awhile I decided I really just didn't care and what I did care about was being able to run in beautiful places without worrying about injuries and that is what I had.

That being said, this year I am not going to make too many full year goals. Instead I am going to focus on monthly goals, which are much better for my short attention span. I am a firm believer in smaller goals that are manageable. It is still possible to meet bigger goals this way, they just need to be divided up into goals that can reasonably be completed in a month. So here are my January goals:

1. Read 4 books. In 2011 I managed to read 35 books. This year I set the goal to read 40 books! I know this is going to be hard for me as I think I did A LOT of reading in 2011 to get to 35 books. In order to do this I need to read 3.3 books a month. Since I'm already halfway through a book I started on vacation, I am going to try to read 4 books this month.

2. Get to yoga 4 times. I know this seems like a small goal, but considering I haven't attended a yoga class since sometime last summer, this will be a lot for me. I hope I can do it!

3. Run outside at least once a week. I admit I am terrible at cold weather running and it's about this time every year that I take a long winter break from running. Not going to do that this year, especially with my new winter running gear compliments of Santa.

4. Donate 2 full bags of clothes to Good Will. Though I really very rarely shop I still seem to be overflowing 2 closets with clothes (true story). I really do not have room for my new Christmas clothes. I mean, I could MAKE room but that is a bad idea. Must stop the hoarding cycle now!

5. Clean the inside of my car. I have a bad habit of living out of my car. It is currently filled with tutoring stuff, shoes and coats/sweatshirts. Sure, occasionally having all this crap in my car comes in handy, but usually it's just something to move out of the way when I want people in my car. So let's clean it out.

6. Try something new. I'm not sure what yet, I'll let you know when I do it!

I know that's a lot of goals, but I feel like they are all manageable. Here's to hoping I do better with these month-long goals than I did with my 2011 goals!

What are your goals for this month or this year?

New Year's Miami Style

As you may or may not have known, I spent the last week after Christmas soaking up the sun in Miami with my parents, brother and Eric. I was really looking forward to the vacation since December is a bit of a rough time in the world of teaching and I was fighting with a bad cough. Sadly, the vacation did not make it better (but Mucinex did!), but I did get in a lot of the relaxation I was craving so much.

Eric and I are usually big tourists when we travel, but most of this week was spent going for runs and walks, reading, eating amazing food and just enjoying the fact that Miami doesn't see the kind of winter that we do in Boston. We did enjoy a bit of what Miami has to offer though including seeing Million Dollar Quartet, which was really good! We also went on a fantastic sightseeing boat ride around Miami that helped us get a sense of where everything was, and of course see the beautiful oceanfront mansions of many famous people!

The views of the city of Miami from the boat were also beautiful.

Cities on the ocean will always have my heart. The best way to see them is from a boat.

Spending New Year's Eve in Miami was also wonderful. I mean, it's hard to beat eating outside and hanging out outside on December 31st when you are used to snowy cold. We started off our night by heading over to Smith and Wolensky for a drink at their waterfront bar. It's the perfect place to watch the sunset.

Every New Years South Beach closes down Ocean Blvd. and the restaurants put their tables outside on the street. My family and I walked down the street and found a nice Italian restaurant to eat at. After dinner, we headed back to our hotel. We figured my parents balcony would be the best place to see the fireworks and we were definitely right! There was also a beach club next door to us that was celebrating the new year and they even had their own ball to drop. In college, one of my friends went to MIT and we used to watch the New Years and 4th of July fireworks in Boston from the roof of his dorm. This was great because you could have your own party, see the fireworks and not deal with the crowds. This was just like this except much closer, and gorgeous weather. Basically heaven.

While we waited for it to be midnight we decided to play Catch Phrase. If you don't know this game you really should, it's the best. We didn't have the real game with us, but we found a website to generate words for us and passed around Eric's phone. At midnight we had the best view of fireworks I have probably ever had...

I also really enjoyed having a camera that can actually capture fireworks. I only wished that Caroline was there! :)

Yesterday we headed home and now I've got a mess of a house (that's what happens when you have people over for Christmas and then leave the next day) and a long, long to do list before it's back to work tomorrow.

How did you spend your New Year's? Do you prefer to do something big or have a more low key night?